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05 August 2009 @ 11:21 pm
Blind Ambition Part 2: Clarity to Confusion  
Title: Blind Ambition
Author: onehighhand
Rating: M
Subject: Make It of Break It - Tv Show
Pairing: Emily/Sasha
Summary: The stakes are high for every gymnast. Emily channels all her strength into her skill, leaving a part of her untouched by the world. Can her new coach teach her to trust, and in turn become the true gymnast she is?
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction that simply expands on the underlying sexual tension of the characters presented in the subject material.

When she is flying through the air, everything in her life completely disappears.

Before that night, it was simple determination that drove her. Her and the mats. Her and the beams. Just her. She was all she needed and all she wanted. She deserved that break, deserved that scholarship. So she made her family move, once again, for her and her dreams. Her.

Ever since he showed up, unannounced and uninvited in Boulder, she wasn't allowed to be alone. She wasn't allowed to depend on her. He pushed and pushed and pushed: the team, the girls, the friendships that she had never considered in gymnastics. So she tried. Half-hearted attempts at break for Spruce Juice. Showing them what a high school party was. Smiling every time they thoughtlessly forgot about inviting her or talking to her. For him, for her coach, for her gymnastics. Stepping out of her comfort zone, jumping through hoops that had no place in a gymnatics stadium. She found herself letting other parts of her life in: work, sport, family, friends all melding together. She was doing exactly what he wanted. Following the rules wasn't her strong suit, but for this dream, for this man, for this coach, for the opportunity, she was willing to give it a shot.

Even after that, even after all of this, it wasn't enough for him. So she gave up, and gave in.

Now when she was flying through the air, she saw moments. Moments from before with deeper meanings, sinister meanings, romantic meanings. Instead of the surreal clarity, she saw him. Saw what happened.

"There are only 49 days left until Nationals and you will spend every waking moment of it in this gym. Together."

Her mind jumped to her standing outside of his trailer soaking wet. The gym. Falling. Tears. Pain. Trust.

The gym, that sacred place. That night. A place of worship, a place of dreams. Their simple declaration of trust turned dark as her tears subsided. His soothing caress grew urgent, filled with desire. Mutual desire. She repeated her own personal mantra. Sometimes you have to break the rules to survive. At that moment, she knew she wouldn't survive if she didn't try. He had started her down this path and he could not deny her now.

"I thought you wanted to be exceptional. I thought you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast."

She stared for what seemed like hours into his eyes. She had never seen this expression on his face. Anger, pride, disgust, concentration, rage: but not this. Indecision. She had to seize this opportunity. To be exceptional. To make them exceptional. She had never been this nervous: she didn't get nervous. But she felt it, an immense and overwhelming pull towards him. She laid her hands softly on his arms, and without a moment's hesitation, pushed her lips to meet his.

"Emily. Emily, stop. You're a gymnast. I am your coach. This," he motioned to the non-existant space between them, "cannot. Happen."

Pain. Immense pain.

She opened her eyes to find herself faceup on the matts. She'd missed the bar. Lost her focus. Confusion took the place of her clarity.